Does being a book lover make it harder to find love?

Literature is so powerful. Whether it be quotes, poems or novels, some authors are so talented that the words they write down and share with us, stay in our minds and make us want to read the same story all over again. I am a lover of books and I always have been. I love the way you can immerse yourself deeply into a story line and forget about everything for the moments that you’re reading. I have quite a few books that are my absolute favourites which I have read over and over and I could continue reading numerous times because I love way they have been written, by the most talented authors.
 
When thinking of my favourite books and characters, I began to wonder about a few different things. It’s so easy to fall in love with a fictional character, it can happen after reading a book, or watching a film. After spending hours watching your favourite series, you become obsessed with the characters and the story line. When it’s over, you feel like your life is! It can be the same with books. You can enjoy a book so much that you start to believe the characters are real, or wish they were real. I started to think to myself, does being a book lover make it harder to form relationships in real life?
 
Take Fifty Shades of Grey, for example. I’m currently halfway through the second book. After watching the films, I wanted to be able to compare the books vs films and see which I preferred. Along with the rest of the population of women, it’s safe to say that I have fallen in love with the idea of Christian Grey. He is mysterious, sexy and always in control. But when you’re finished with the books and have watched the films, you have to keep telling yourself he’s not real. Everyone wants a Christian Grey, but he’s a fictional character and it’s very unlikely that I will find a Christian Grey walking down the street of my hometown.
 
When reflecting on myself and the way I view relationships, I am an old romantic. I believe in love, I believe in falling in love and I believe that we all have soulmates. Reading romantic fiction has made me believe in love even more intensely. I was thinking to myself, by reading I am constantly comparing real life people to those amazing characters that I have found in books. And so far, not many real world people have lived up to my standards.
 
Being a lover of literature, words, quotes and poems can sometimes distort the reality of our relationships. I know for myself, reading books has given me ideas of what I want in my life and the certain relationships I want to form in my life. This can be a great thing, because it has helped me in many ways. But, it’s hard not to compare with the characters you have read about.
 
The answer to the question; does being a book lover make it harder to form relationships in real life? I think potentially, it could make you raise your expectations about what you want from people.
 
Which is not a bad thing.
 
Reading makes me so happy, and I will never stop reading. I use this as an escapism from whatever is going on, and it gives me so many new ideas about my own writing.
 
I once saw a quote that said; ‘Never apologise for having high standards. The people that are meant to be in your life will rise up to meet them.’ 
 
This is so true. A fictional character you may have fallen in love with, or aspire to be like will never be a real person. But you can use the things you have read, quotes that have stuck in your head, to remind yourself of the way to form relationships and what you deserve. Although many books can seem ‘far-fetched’, you can still use the things you read and relate them to your own thoughts and experiences, which is something I do often.
 
One of my favourite ever books of poetry, is ‘Love and Misadventure’ written by Lang Leav. If you are a romanticist like me, who is full of love and loves reading about love, then you need this book.
 
It was hard to
choose because the book is absolutely fantastic. But, here is one my favourite poems from the book;
 
All or Nothing
If you love me for what you see, only your eyes would be in love with me.
If you love me for what you’ve heard, then you would love me for my words.
If you love my heart and mind, then you would love me, for all that I’m.
But if you don’t love my every flaw, then you musn’t love me – not at all.
 
– Lang Leav
 
I hope you continue to read and fall in love with many more characters.

 

4 Comments

  1. Love this post! I love reading too mainly because you get so into the story you almost forget what's going on around you for a while. To link reading books like love stories with relationship expectations is such a good idea. Really enjoyed reading it x

    Like

  2. I love this and think about this all the time! I’m always finding new book boyfriends, and I think that my love for these fictional men helped me figure out what I wanted in my real love life. Great post!

    Like

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